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CoreyKramer

Has it been that long already?

I had a few milestone anniversaries brought to my attention this week... some I remembered and some that sort of snuck up on me and smacked me upside the head with a giant fish (thanks Facebook). I wanted to talk about some of these today as they are kind of important; not so much for the comic but for me as a person. Which, I suppose, means they are kind of important to the comic as without me there is no it. But I digress...

Oh... and possibly trigger warnings as I discuss the uncomfortable side of mental health. Gird the loins.

So it was about this time back in 2017 that I had some major life changing events occur of the "oh this isn't good" variety. My relationship of 14 years ended, my job of ten years eliminated my position, and my estranged kiddo returned to my life after 18 years. It was... shall we just say... kind of a lot. Add onto all of that the depression I had been disregarding for who knows how long and things feel apart. Hard.

I started my attempt to put the pieces of myself back together. I reunited with my immediate family that I hadn't spoken with for seven years; moved to a new town; got a new job (a couple as my positions continued to get eliminated a few times again; an unfortunate trend in the youth counselor field at the time- not helping, Universe); made new friends; got to know my kid; I even started to date again... you know- all the healthy stuff a person should do. The thing I didn't do? Acknowledge the depth of my grief and depression and other very important things that make the healthy things a person should do actually work. My mood and affect took an even deeper dive. My newest job at the time was extremely stressful (I had worked for almost two decades with teens and adults with depression and other emotional issues and that client was particularly challenging). I was neglecting my health and medications (which I failed to mention- through the years I had neglected my diabetes due to my then undiagnosed depression), it became too much and I finally cracked. I started to have suicidal thoughts and even made a plan to ingest all of the meds that had been neglected over the years. It was a scary time.

Thankfully I still had enough youth counselor mentality in me to ask friends and family for help.  We decided that I needed help of a more professional sort and we headed to urgent care which then redirected us to the ER. I then checked into the mental wing of a local hospital and remained there for a little over a week. They got my meds in order and after getting on an antidepressant and being reminded of some coping skills (I knew most of them from my time as a youth counselor but uncontrolled depression tends to cancel that stuff out, yo) I started feeling like myself again. Just in time for my kidneys to fail, dialysis to begin, and a global pandemic to hit. That of course is another story entirely, but worth a mention here as if I hadn't turned things around by that point I most certainly wouldn't be celebrating a year with my new transplanted kidney.

So that's my week y'all: Seven years since my life fell apart; five years since I welcomed my new support system and checked myself into the hospital; four years since my life without my original working kidneys began; and one year since my new healthier life with a rent to own kidney began. I don't expect to make a long post like this every August, but after a year with my transplant it seemed kind of significant. I'll be back to the antics of the Wonder Weenies next week.

The biggest point I want to make is... mental health is really important. Please take it seriously- don't encourage macho bullshit and 'tough it out' when things are overwhelming. Get help when you need it. Listen to others when the suggest you do. It's okay, trust me. The world would much rather have you in it doing whatever goofy thing you do than without it.

Trust the guy that creates the comic about hot dog themed superheroes.

I am a huge.

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